ic contact for futurology

[hellshaped]

username: HB

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gif credit to beesandbombs.
code credit to yob.

Comments

(nottalking)

[hellshaped]

[Oh. He knows what this is now.

Still, he's not going to make it easy. It's not exactly an easy thing to explain, after all.]

You're going to have to be more specific. There's a lot of places that have stories about dragons.

[duck]

[riastraid]

[ Maybe it's not easy, but he's making it more difficult than it has to be. Still, Lancer's got way too much free time on his hands, and thought-spam is easy. ]

so start with your favorite.

[hellshaped]

[He's just lucky Hellboy tries to be polite and isn't telling him to screw off immediately.]

A few years back I went to the Nyenchen Tanglha mountain range. Fought a big-ass dragon there. Fire and blood and all sorts of terrible stuff.

[riastraid]

[ How sweet. ]

really? sounds fun. [ why can't they be off killing dragons..... ] you some sort of monster hunter?

[hellshaped]

[u weren't here a few months ago, lancer. not that that mission was strictly dragon killing, something Hellboy regrets in retrospect.]

Sort of. I've been retired for a few years, though.

[riastraid]

[ lesson learned: always solve problems with violence ]

yeah, i've been out of the business a while myself. maybe we'll get to jump back into it here.

[ ... ]

but i'm getting off-topic! go on, next story.

[hellshaped]

[Wow, guy, let Hellboy gently direct the flow of conversation elsewhere. This is not going like it usually does!]

That depends how specifically you mean "dragon." Did you ever hear about Hercules and the hydra?

[riastraid]

[ nah, forget all that misdirection nonsense. what will you do now, hb. ]

probably. but gimme your version.

[hellshaped]

[Pout???? is he physically capable of pouting]

Well, Hercules had to atone for some terrible things he did, and was given 11 or 12 tasks. One of them was slaying the hydra, a really ugly animal with nine heads. What Hercules didn't know was that of the nine, there was one that was the key to killing it for good. Otherwise he would just keep chopping its heads off over and over. I'm sure you know this part; you cut off one head and two grow in its place, blah blah.

So Hercules had his cousin or nephew with him, I'm not sure which, and he came up with the idea that if they held a flame to the severed neck, the head wouldn't grow back. So they did that for awhile, just cutting off heads and burning the stumps, and all the while, the hydra was still alive. Finally, they get to the last head, and bingo. Process of elimination, I guess.

But after all that, it didn't count towards Hercules' atonement. He had help, which I guess wasn't very heroic in those days.

[...] Is that the kind of dragon story you wanted?

go to bed

[riastraid]

[ an attempt to pout-grimace that makes children cry, maybe.

Anyway, that's not a bad effort for all his unreasonable prodding, so he reads through to the end. Afterwards, ]

or maybe it's not that easy to atone? ...ah, i don't know. whatever it is, poor sap didn't have any better luck when i saw him.

[ Then again, Berserker was wicked powerful, and that's enough for some people. ]

anyway, that's not the one i was looking for, but good job anyway.

i did but not because you said so!!!

[hellshaped]

["When I saw him"? Hellboy stares at these words for a few seconds before answering, maybe a little cautiously,] I only met what was apparently his personified guilt. Or maybe it was the ghost of the lion. I never really could figure it out.

I could tell you about St. George, but everyone knows that one.

Takes credit anyway!!

[riastraid]

oh. i can see how that could get confusing.

[ Sarcasm is hard in mindspam, who knew. Lancer doesn't elaborate, though for different motives. Chief among them that he doesn't feel like distracting—this guy will clearly take tangents where provided. ]

no, not george either. but that's getting warmer.

jeezy creezy

[hellshaped]

So some kind of saint is what you're getting at.

[riastraid]

yep. figured it out yet, or are we going to keep talking in circles all night?

[hellshaped]

Are we talking in circles? [Guess.]

[riastraid]

[ It's in Lancer's nature to poke and prod more than might be completely wise, but he's not typically out to make enemies. He's danced the line enough today. ]

all right, all right... i get it. it's nothing to be embarrassed about, though.

[hellshaped]

I'm sure you have some idea of what I look like. [He means he looks like a demon. There are some people here who obviously don't make the connection, but Lancer has enough knowledge of Earth mythology that he's willing to bet it's very obvious for him.] I don't really need to add to the weirdness. I've got enough as it is.

[riastraid]

[ You don't exactly need to be a demonologist to recognize the obvious, here. ]

acting all cagey about it's just going to make it worse. besides——some people would consider that kinda blood to be a sign of greatness.

[ He knows that much firsthand. ]

[hellshaped]

[LOOK some people just think he is big and red and he is not about to tell them otherwise. let a man dream.]

Some people. Others might see it as a burden they never asked for.

[riastraid]

[ dreaming: code word for living in aggressive denial ]

really? anyone regretting their birthright is pretty stupid. it's not like any of us can control that.

[hellshaped]

No, and that's the problem. People aren't pawns. They have free will. "Birthright" shouldn't mean anything at all.

[riastraid]

yeah, sure. choose your own destiny and all that.

i'm just saying——you're born with the blood you've got. why struggle with it?

[ Free will is real until it comes to the past. There's no changing what's already happened, no input on the matter of bloodlines and family trees. It is what it is. Weirdos are weirdos. ]

[hellshaped]

Because sometimes someone is born into something they don't want any part with.

[riastraid]

so what are you supposed to do instead, ignore it?

[hellshaped]

Sure. Why not?