[Hellboy has his own conflicted feelings about the idea, the same as how he had conflicted feelings when Abe found him on the deck of the Charon -- and when he found him bleeding on the train platform. The latter even moreso, really; he now knows that there is basically no way he'll ever be able to go back to the Bureau. He doesn't belong to that world anymore. And so, he'll probably never see Abe again.]
don;t know never tried texting one of the xzombie people, maybe those bounce bsck too
[Tali doesn’t have the fact of knowing Abe back home to look at, though she does know full well that if Abe is gone from here, she will never see him again. COMPASS are the only link she and any of her friends here have, and it sickens her whenever it occurs to her again, like it does now.
And Abe in particular – the closest and longest friend she’s made here – him not being around any more hurts, hurts more than she thought it ever would. The feeling of being happy for him mixes with it like oil and water – which is to say, the two don’t mix, and are always going to be confusing, and it’s just an oily, grim thing all around.
Suffice to say, if he’s gone, she’s going to miss him pretty damn bad. There are long pauses between texts, not sure how to communicate it and, for a moment, not sure she knows what she’s communicating.]
i don’t know anybody who’s turned into one of them. I don’t think I do. [And... actually, very much hopes she doesn't.]
You okay?
[Hellboy is free to interpret this question as a general 'are the zombies causing problems' or 'tell me your Fish Feelings'. Deliberately open question.]
[Wow, who even has fish feelings? Certainly not Hellboy, that's for sure.
For a very long time, there is no response. Minutes. Maybe half an hour.]
Peachy
[He's taking his frustrations out on these terrible, nearly-human bladed things. It actually feels good to be able to do that again -- the last time he'd done it, he'd charged headfirst into a Russian zombie army, which didn't turn out that well. And before that, there was the time on the Charon, after learning about Roger, after feeling helpless and guilty and very much like he was slowly drowning. And that's when his body wasn't acting as it should, and he probably would have died too if he'd kept it up for much longer.
But now... he don't have to worry about any of that. His body heals normally now, so he can deal with whatever these horrible thing can dish out.]
[Tali's frustrations aren't so easily taken out. Sure, there are the warped approximations of life lurking around every corner and they do need to be killed when she can't simply avoid them, but it's not so easy for her that she can just do it as catharsis. There's too much risk and not enough ammo.
Besides, for all her three-digit kill count since meeting Shepard years ago, it's never felt like anything more than a necessity. Usually a sad one.]
minus the apparitions, this place is almost like home.
[Which is a class act of a diversion, good job. Quite a long while later - whenever she has a break in ducking and dodging and fighting or maybe just whenever she gets up the nerve to say it:]
i hate hoping people come back. Especially this bad.
oh my god "he don't have to," shoots self in the face
[Hellboy's own apparitions are things he doesn't want to talk about. He won't even admit he's seeing anything because he knows they're not real and he absolutely refuses -- refuses -- to talk about things that are not real on principle. Things that are trying to get inside his head; spirits or possessed rocks or just pure evil that permeates this godforsaken scrap of floating metal. It didn't matter. He refused to allow it to be part of his reality, no matter how much pleading and admonishing and existing it did.
There's a pause between Tali's text and Hellboy's response, but it's more in line with his usual awkward hesitation than anything else.]
he doesn't deserve to be here. Whatever was eating him, he wasn't going to get over it here. I didn't until iwent home.
[Not that he is completely over the mysterious Thing that had him all fucked up for a majority of his time on the Charon. But he's doing much, much better than before. He imagines it will be the same for Abe; he won't be able to move on from his problems until he's back where he belongs, back in reality.]
[Tali is not so good at blocking out the ghosts, the hallucinations, whatever they are. They walk where she walks, fight when she fights, speak when the silence is otherwise enough to drive her insane. And sometimes the things they say are not things she ever wanted to hear.
But she can't just block them out or pretend they aren't there.]
I know. He's better off.
[Time works in funny ways here. Not just in the classical sense, but in the way that things just aren't so easily gotten over when you know they're waiting for you when you one day return, exactly as you left them. They freeze, and if they froze in an ugly place there's no thawing them and letting them go. It's just a matter of how well you can suspend them in your mind - if you can at all.]
Don't mind me. I just never get used to this.
[She has, if anything, gotten used to the fact that there is no getting used to people leaving. Bittersweet just doesn't quite cover it.]
and now you will forever because i brought it to your attention
[He still thinks about Maya sometimes. And Joan and Garrus. They'd somehow escaped COMPASS for good -- or so he liked to think. The alternative of them being stuck in the Void or something like that... the machine not working and them getting thrown into dimensional limbo... it's too much to bear.
But it's selfish to want them to be here. They are better off being home; no matter how terrible their home is, nothing could compare to the nightmares COMPASS foisted upon them.]
once we're done fighting space zombies, I'll comr see you.
[He's not offering to talk because he knows he won't, he is not good with this sort of thing, but maybe his presence will help.]
see, just pretend your typos were deliberate and no one will question
[It's hard not to think about all the people who have come and gone, especially the ones she was the closest to - Garrus is easy not to think about, not just because of what happened, but because of the simple fact that she saw him directly before coming here and will see him as soon as she gets back, unchanged, no time having passed at all.
Maya, the Doctor, even people she didn't know so well like Eike - remembering them sometimes makes it hard to even try to get know other people, because all they're going to do is leave. Which is stupid - she's military, high risk, she lives in a universe where her friends are likely to die in a moment - but it's oddly all the more on her mind here, all the time.]
yeah. That would help. Thanks.
be careful. you're not just punching them, right? you've got a weapon?
[The answer isn't immediate, but when it comes through it is a marked departure from before. Back to being flippant about everything, because that's easier to deal with.]
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[nods]
don;t know
never tried texting one of the xzombie people, maybe those bounce bsck too
no subject
And Abe in particular – the closest and longest friend she’s made here – him not being around any more hurts, hurts more than she thought it ever would. The feeling of being happy for him mixes with it like oil and water – which is to say, the two don’t mix, and are always going to be confusing, and it’s just an oily, grim thing all around.
Suffice to say, if he’s gone, she’s going to miss him pretty damn bad. There are long pauses between texts, not sure how to communicate it and, for a moment, not sure she knows what she’s communicating.]
i don’t know anybody who’s turned into one of them. I don’t think I do. [And... actually, very much hopes she doesn't.]
You okay?
[Hellboy is free to interpret this question as a general 'are the zombies causing problems' or 'tell me your Fish Feelings'. Deliberately open question.]
no subject
For a very long time, there is no response. Minutes. Maybe half an hour.]
Peachy
[He's taking his frustrations out on these terrible, nearly-human bladed things. It actually feels good to be able to do that again -- the last time he'd done it, he'd charged headfirst into a Russian zombie army, which didn't turn out that well. And before that, there was the time on the Charon, after learning about Roger, after feeling helpless and guilty and very much like he was slowly drowning. And that's when his body wasn't acting as it should, and he probably would have died too if he'd kept it up for much longer.
But now... he don't have to worry about any of that. His body heals normally now, so he can deal with whatever these horrible thing can dish out.]
what about you
no subject
Besides, for all her three-digit kill count since meeting Shepard years ago, it's never felt like anything more than a necessity. Usually a sad one.]
minus the apparitions, this place is almost like home.
[Which is a class act of a diversion, good job. Quite a long while later - whenever she has a break in ducking and dodging and fighting or maybe just whenever she gets up the nerve to say it:]
i hate hoping people come back. Especially this bad.
oh my god "he don't have to," shoots self in the face
There's a pause between Tali's text and Hellboy's response, but it's more in line with his usual awkward hesitation than anything else.]
he doesn't deserve to be here. Whatever was eating him, he wasn't going to get over it here. I didn't until iwent home.
[Not that he is completely over the mysterious Thing that had him all fucked up for a majority of his time on the Charon. But he's doing much, much better than before. He imagines it will be the same for Abe; he won't be able to move on from his problems until he's back where he belongs, back in reality.]
i actually didn't even notice
But she can't just block them out or pretend they aren't there.]
I know. He's better off.
[Time works in funny ways here. Not just in the classical sense, but in the way that things just aren't so easily gotten over when you know they're waiting for you when you one day return, exactly as you left them. They freeze, and if they froze in an ugly place there's no thawing them and letting them go. It's just a matter of how well you can suspend them in your mind - if you can at all.]
Don't mind me. I just never get used to this.
[She has, if anything, gotten used to the fact that there is no getting used to people leaving. Bittersweet just doesn't quite cover it.]
and now you will forever because i brought it to your attention
[He still thinks about Maya sometimes. And Joan and Garrus. They'd somehow escaped COMPASS for good -- or so he liked to think. The alternative of them being stuck in the Void or something like that... the machine not working and them getting thrown into dimensional limbo... it's too much to bear.
But it's selfish to want them to be here. They are better off being home; no matter how terrible their home is, nothing could compare to the nightmares COMPASS foisted upon them.]
once we're done fighting space zombies, I'll comr see you.
[He's not offering to talk because he knows he won't, he is not good with this sort of thing, but maybe his presence will help.]
see, just pretend your typos were deliberate and no one will question
Maya, the Doctor, even people she didn't know so well like Eike - remembering them sometimes makes it hard to even try to get know other people, because all they're going to do is leave. Which is stupid - she's military, high risk, she lives in a universe where her friends are likely to die in a moment - but it's oddly all the more on her mind here, all the time.]
yeah. That would help. Thanks.
be careful. you're not just punching them, right? you've got a weapon?
[Haha. Hah.]
that doesn't even make sense!!
Baby, I AM a weapon
no it totally does
keelah
Why am I friends with you
no!!!
yessssss (i've forgotten what we're even talking about)